SO363: View of Japan as a Child

As a child, Japan was a place I dreamed about going to- an ultimate getaway, a topsy-turvy and whimsical Neverland that I hoped to which I hoped one day to escape. Japan was color, hope, and tradition, it was happiness in a far off dream. I think that there was a part of myself in childhood that imagined Japan as a place where I would finally fit in, a place where I would feel at home. I suppose it's often that children of divorce never feel that they fit in anywhere. While my parents tossed my brother and I across the US every year, my life felt like it held no constant, no thread connecting who I was with my father and who I was with my mother. That's when I found anime.

Perhaps it was an odd thing to glue my life together, but it gave me drive- it expertly tied together my desire to travel, my desire to be far from where I was, and, I thought, my desire to fit in. It's funny looking back on my immature notions of Japan now. Japan was the last place to go to fit in, but it was certainly one of the best to go to get away from where I had been. Still, I realize that the purpose Japan served didn't fit in exactly with my perception of it. When I thought of Japan, I thought of Sailor Moon and Geisha, Ninjas, Samurai, and Temples. One Christmas, my mother bought me a photobook of Japan and I loved it dearly. When I was feeling lonely, depressed, or out of place, I would look through it and close my eyes, imagining that I was Japanese. The pictures that stuck in my head were the busy, bright, and bustling streets of Tokyo, the Golden Temple on the water, gates to Ginjaa, and a young woman practicing kyuudou (Japanese archery). In retrospect, I guess I didn't really think about how those pictures might not have fit together, all I wanted was to be in Japan.

When I came to Japan when I was 13, my image shifted quickly. Japan was still lights and life, but suddenly it was karaoke, shopping, crowded trains, kanji, and courtesy. It was warmth and happiness, like a warm blanket, but it was far from what I had felt originally. Even now, I feel that image warping yet again, as it should be. Still, it makes me wonder if I will ever have a consistent view of Japan- but, I suppose, I don't seek out that consistency as desperately as I did in my childhood, as life is change.

Religion

Back home, religion means everything and nothing to me. It's important to me to ensure that religion doesn't ruin human development, stop environmental protection, violate rights of other religions and the nonreligious- it's something that put me on rocky ground with half my family and gets in the way of too many potential friendships. Sometimes, religion feels like nothing other than an eyesore to me- something that gets in the way of everything. Logically, I know that isn't entirely true. It's funny- normally I feel rather "live and let live" to anything and everything, which is why I'm torn at home on how to react to religion. To anyone that keeps their faith personal and does not condemn me, I love having intellectual conversations and working to benefit others. To anyone who I know is treating me differently because I'm an atheist, I want nothing more than to humble their efforts. It makes me come off as a split personality, but that's just the state of things in the US today.

One of the things that has made me feel most comfortable and welcome here is that they treat religion as, in my opinion, it should be- a personal choice, something to not condemn others over, and something that is not obvious through your every action. My Art and Society teacher (who sort of reminds me of Professor Lazarus from Doctor Who...) was giving a lecture on Buddhism last week and he remarked "Now, do you know of any Buddhist fundamentalists? Who says 'I'm fundamental about the Middle Way!'" It made me laugh at the time, but it really struck a chord with me-- especially when he went on to say "How many of you here have REALLY had a deep conversation about religion with a Japanese person? Or politics for that matter?" Almost on impulse, my hand shot up, but I realized that- although I had a few conversations about not liking Bush, the economy, and North Korea, my religion conversations had been primarily with the other American students in IES. In fact, I've discussed religion quite a lot with Hannah, Nancy, and Mindy- about got into a tiff with a few hardcore Christians even-but the extent of my religious conversation with my host family consisted of defining Quakerism to them (my host sister goes to a private Quaker school, but she's an atheist) and telling them I was no longer a Catholic because, to me, the Bible seemed nothing more than fiction. Still, that was nothing compared to all the conversations I've had with people I've known from the states for a significantly smaller amount of time. My hand slowly sank down.

Then my professor exposed the truth of the matter- "Sunday they think the neighbor's popping out for golf, but really he's gone to save his soul. Drives all the way across Tokyo to go to a church there just to make sure no one he knows he's a God-ie." I smiled at this, even scribbled it down in my notebook because the way he said it in his crisp English accent just reminded me of a one-liner from a Britcom; but I didn't really feel the implications of it until yesterday. On my way back from shopping with Hannah, I heard a small voice call out from behind me in English-"Excuse me! Could you please wait?" I stopped and was shocked to find a young Japanese woman behind me, another young woman and a young boy behind her. "Could I talk to you for just a moment?" Puzzled, I smiled and nodded. She pulled out a flyer and my heart sunk- it was a very prominent picture of the Bible- underneath was information about Bible study (the back is photographed above). Almost on impulse, my body became as stiff as a board when she said "We're Jehovah's Witnesses-," I just nodded, sensing the strain that was probably on my face as I tried to pick which comebacks I would use, "And we would love if you could join us for study. Thank you so much for your time!" I took the flyer, bowed, and smiled at the woman. Walking away, I was actually happy they had come to speak to me. In fact, it made me realize something-- it's the attitude that a lot of American Christians take towards non-Christians that bothers me. It's as if no one should be anything but a Christian- and anyone who is deserves to burn in hell fire. It's offensive and, quite frankly, rather rude and, at least personally, it gets me up in arms. But, these women gave me hope for secularizing society. Here, in a secularized society, these women were still able to do what they feel is a good deed for their religion and there is not one ounce of evil, trickery, or guilt-mongering in it. I suddenly realized why there is not much need for a secular movement here-- it's because this sort of society is what we're aiming for. [Still, on a funny note, like Hannah said-- I can't even seem to get away from Converting!Christians in Japan. haha]

On an interesting side note, it turns out that there are very old tombs of the Japanese Emperor's family which the Japanese refuse to excavate-- why? It's highly suspected that the Royal Family is of Korean origins and, on top of the religious implications (the Emperor is a descendant of the Gods in the Shinto religion- surprised?), the irony is just too much.

Illness

As isn't terribly surprising this time of year, we've been passing a pretty robust cold around the IES students at Meikai. My roommate Hannah has been stricken pretty hard and I'm afraid that I'm starting to come down with it myself. That said, there are actually quite a few differences between American and Japanese demeanor towards sickness.

When I watched the news in the States, I always thought that China was the only country obsessed with wearing masks- but Japan as well finds it almost a act of extreme rudeness for one not to wear a mask when they are sick. The masks are sold everywhere- in all different shapes, colors, and designs, although the traditional plain, white masks are the most popular. One popular line of masks runs ads on the train, which have always rather put me off. "Japan's family mask," they say and I just stare at them every time in amazement- the family all sort of looks like ninjas. Or, perhaps, scream "Watch out for the Zombie Infestation."

That said, the culture is starting to soak into me. I heard a man behind me cough on the train today and was appalled when I turned around and saw he didn't have a mask. Before my mind could even stop myself, I thought "He doesn't know because he is a foreigner." Oh dear; hahaha.

Needless to say, the thought of wearing a mask (and as my friend Nancy brought up, potentially sneezing in one) makes me even more proactive in fighting this cold.

Endo-Ryo and Foreigners

Without a doubt, one of the largest differences between this trip to Japan and my last one is my living arrangements. The way one behaves with a host family and in an apartment is entirely different. On top of this, Endo-Ryo is a special living situation- a 3 bedroom, full bath, kitchen, living room, and dining room in a "mansion," as opposed to others who either have homestay or live in dorms-- where they are fed (unless it's the women's dorm), have a dorm manager, have curfews... But, I suppose, what makes Endo-Ryo the most unique is undoubtedly our landlady, Endo-san.

Endo-san is the antithesis of what you would expect in an old Japanese woman. Quiet? Oh no, think again. Meek? Anything but. Kind? Uhm... well... I'm pretty sure I could tall stories about Endo-san all day and I would not exhaust myself. She mocks us, tries to con us out of money, treats us like children, pries into our business, comes in unannounced, and is simply not the happiest woman to be around. Endo-san has the authority to come visit all the time because she is supposed to clean our common areas-- not to say she has done anything but take out the trash. On top of this, she has an annoying amount of storage left in the house- closets, bookcases, shelves full of her things. Still, it would appear that past residents have had far more problems with her than we have. Overall, we are pretty cleanly, heading warnings from previous residents.

Still, the mansion is great- from the balcony, we can see the ferris wheel at Odaiba, the fireworks at Disneyland, a river, wide fields... Not to mention, it is in a convenient location. On top of this, I love my roommates, SeungYe and Hannah. While all of us are, in our own ways, antisocial at home, it is working out splendidly. It is also amazing how many foreigners are in the area as well- Hannah and I have seen to creating our extensive (politically incorrect) catalog:

African Steve- Tall, lanky guy that hit on me a few weeks ago and started the naming of foreigners.

Blonde Sally- A woman we saw waiting to cross the road on a bike

Arabian Al- A nice looking Middle Eastern Guy that often is at the station at the same time as us

Nigerian Pete- Possibly the same person as African Steve; eyed Hannah up.

Lanky David- A tall guy that we saw at the station in Gyotoku

Model Craig- One of those guys you expect to see in an Abercrombie ad

Bernie Mac- He looks like Bernie Mac.

American Mary/Sue- Hannah and I

Strong-looking Anthony- A guy with poofy blonde hair on the train that was beefy

Yep- True Story. As fun as it is to name all the foreigners, I think it truly speaks volumes that we CAN name the foreigners-- people that would simply blend in to any crowd in America become something novel, something mezurashii (Yep, 'novel' in Japanese). This has no exception when it comes to either Hannah or I either- whether it's simple, interested stares on the trains, heckling by other English speakers on the street, or people going out of our way to avoid us, there is never any lack for feeling different. No amount of hair dye, brown contacts, style change, and tanning will help it either- from our noses to our face shapes, we are incapable of blending in. One of my most interesting collisions with being foreign happened the other day, on my way home from working with my host mother at her bread shop. A seemingly normal man in his 50's passed us on the street, and, as is customary when you meet people's eyes, he greeted us. However, apparently one greeting did not suffice- suddenly this man was in my face, standing inches from me, fear gluing me in place. "Hello! Good morning! America! Hello!" Over and over again, the chain of broken English greetings inched him closer and closer to me, to the point where he was almost touching me- my host mother pulled me away and we walked home, but the experience shook me. "It's because you're a foreigner- you're cute and you're a novelty." My host mother told me, "That brings out strange men like him." Normally, I don't mind sticking out of the crowd, but here, some days I feel like I would do anything to blend in.

Most likely, from here on out, blog posts will be themed instead of day by day descriptions. I get too far behind. @.@

SO363: Most Striking Aspect of Japan thus Far

When Americans are asked to think about Japan, their views have surely came a long way from just ninja, samurai, geisha, and kimono- based a whole deal on globalization, America's fear of the Japanese economy becoming stronger than our own, and the rise in popularity of anime and manga. Typically, most stereotypes about a people are erased from mind and opinion base once one knows first hand- and I had expected that I myself would serve as no exception. Having been to Japan before, I had worked through a lot of my initial shock already- the tendency to skirt around answers, the constant need for conformity, public area cleanliness, extreme kindness, and perfect work ethic. Upon arrival here, I was greeted with things far too familiar to be shocking- whilst everyone else's faces lit up with extreme awe and wonder, I sought desperately to find my memories again.

My retrace started when I first entered Tokyo again, my heart throbbing at the sight of people packed tightly, the endless and chaotic mess of the city that I had waited so long to return to. Nothing could have contained me, as my heart was beating too loud as I stepped off the train in Shinjuku, a station I had came to everyday for a month in order to get to school. I left the station and found myself on the other side of a nearly unrecognizable Shinjuku and, with my falty, crumbling memory, I began to look so desperately for the building where my classes were held. After hours of wandering, I finally stood in front of a complete perversion of what had appeared in my mind- an old, plain, graffiti covered building in what had to of been the most dangerous area I had seen of Shinjuku. My chest felt tight, my heart heavy- it was as if the soul had been sucked out of my childhood. Still, the largest blow to my memory was dealt when I went to stay Silver Week with my old host family, whom I had loved so much.

There were so many things that were the same about them- in fact, there could never have been any mistake as to them being the same people. Rather, what had changed so much was my perspective of the world and what I noticed chilled me straight to the core. At the Odaiba beach, my host sisters ran around with childish spirit, my host father took pictures of Tokyo Bridge, and my host mother pointed out ships, buildings, bridges, and people, teaching me about them. I was surprised when she turned to me and caught my eye, saying "Is Steve kind?" I smiled softly, I barely had to think on such a thing- of course my boyfriend was kind. When her eyes caught my smile, they drifted back to the water of the Tokyo Bay, her voice becoming soft, "He's so cold to me... he is kind to others, but he is so cold to me." Suddenly, I finally saw what had been hinted at through her actions for years- my host mother was lonely, subservient, and trapped- she had been stripped of her soul. To an American, their soul is there personality, their livelihood their own individuality, but my host mother has but a glimmer of it left. Any desires she had held outside of what society deemed as appropriate were gone, only fragments of memories, not so far from mine crushed so easily at the sight of new Shinjuku. Then again, by no means was it only her. No, society had stripped Japanese adults of their souls and filled the hole with labor.

I once read somewhere that Japanese people are mechanical- that everything was so stiff and regimented, soulless. Always a large fan of anime and manga, I could see the soul in Japan- the beautiful emotions through its media. However, the majority of anime and manga, in retrospect, only grant such emotions to people younger than 30 and- the majority of the time- under 20, far before work should become the focal point of one's life. Americans occasionally get caught up in their jobs as they become older-- but they don't become their jobs. Faced with this new feeling I have, it pains me.

Second Half of Week 2- Entrance Ceremony, Vegan Healing Cafe, and Lazy Saturday

Thursday

Today ended up being quite the photo-op and the Entrance Ceremony was actually pretty cool. Mindy got to give the speech at the Ceremony (we all suspect that she got the highest score on the exam-- which wouldn't be a surprise! She's very amazing! =]). Post ceremony, we all went to our usual food court hang-out, this time with a few others in tow. Eventually, conversation turned to one on religion and, although it was very comfortable to discuss with the majority of the table, one girl left me feeling rather uncomfortable. Not wanting to start an argument, I went back to the house and started to watch an anime I heard about from Shanis at the Entrance Ceremony, Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni. That pretty much shot the rest of the day for me.

Friday

Everyone was more than nervous today- the day that we got placed. The teachers guided us through a mock class and finally, about 2 and a half hours of this, they announced our placements. Five students got into 5, none into 4, 10 into 3, and 10 into 2. I was most relieved when my name was called for 3, the class I am supposed to be in, anyway. It's a little scary, though. Shanis, who is a year ahead of me at UR only got into 3 as well. It makes me wonder about how well 200 advances one back home. Very nerve wracking. I hope I can compare. Hannah will be in 3 with me, though, so it will be nice to have someone to study with.

After Japanese, we were supposed to start Architecture, but, due to Instructor illness, the class was cancelled. Thus, I decided, today would be a good day to go buy the Vegan Restaurant handbook that Vegan Japan puts out. But, in order to do so, I had to go to one of the restaurants that they listed on their website. Thus, Nancy, Hannah, and I went to Shibuya to "Vegan Healing Cafe."

Well, by the time we got there, we were very hungry, because, as I'm sure you can guess, I got us lost on the way again by pointing us in the completely opposite direction... yeah. >>; I felt really bad, too, since Hannah was in heels. Well, when we got there, I was really excited. It was a small cafe and it promised to provide me nutrients and... well... uh... I don't know why I ever imagined that "Vegan Healing Cafe" would taste delectable... or even terribly edible. In fact, if I wasn't starving, I think I would have sad. The hot chocolate was... bitter... and the blueberry cake was... dry? And the meal was... alright? It was very... wholesome? It was very... healthy? Overall, interesting exprience, I must say. Hopefully, the places with fake meat will be a little better.

Parked outside was a PETA van, which was terribly amusing to me-- although I'm not a big PETA fan myself. They have bad tactics. Then, we saw a guy dressed as a candy bar, walking around... with a man, giving out flyers. So strange. @_@

Saturday

Today was the upmost laziest day I had here. I seriously sat around watching Higurashi no naku koro ni for most of the day and finally went to Seiyu Gyotoku for a change of pace (It's the Wal*Mart branch that's a 20 minute walk instead of a 10 minute one...). I went in hopes that they would have a more extensive selection of, well, everything. What I did find is that they had quart-sized cartons of acerola juice and, really, apart from that, not a horribly impressive selection. I did get quite a few vegetables, though, and prepared a soup with them. The soup ended up making a mean topping for the rice. Another thing I ran into at the store was this- peanut butter... it's practically odd here. They have this stuff called "peanut cream" which is pretty cheap, but I really had little interest in trying. The peanut butter that they did have was smaller than an average Skippy jar and about $4. It was a little disheartening.

Endo-san came over after all of us had eaten, took nail polish that prior IES students had left behind, was her usually rough self, and left. She seems to really like SeungYe, which is funny, since SeungYe seems to tune her out the most and respond to her the least. haha.

First half of Week 2 in Tokyo- Meikai Tours/Placement Test/Alien Registration/LaLa Port

Monday

Today was pretty dull, actually. We gathered at KUIS this morning and went through Academics orientation. Pretty much, we were told to show up to our classes and that we were not permitted to drop below 15 credits NOR could we drop Japanese. Hannah and I both elected to add a third IES area course, as IES permits us to have up to 19 credits. Thus, my official schedule is:

M,T,R,F 9-12:10- Japanese

M 2-4:40- Japanese Society and Culture

R 2-4:40- Japanese Art and Society

F 2-4:40- Architecture and Urban Planning

Everything, with the exception of Architecture, starts on the week of the 14th. Apart from that, we were taken around Shin-Urayasu and Meikai with some of the E-Pals. After we ate at the food court, a few of us (Nancy, Mindy, SeungYe, Hannah, and myself) went to the 100 yen store, the bank, the bus pass window, a cake shop, and back to our house to study. SeungYe wasn't feeling very well and nancy had forgotten to sign up for the Tokyo Tour on Sunday, so we called Watanabe-san. The five of us didn't study too much, but ended up having a pretty good time. Shin-san came around and fixed our wireless, but my computer still doesn't want to pick up on it (which, as Hannah says, is rather funny since I have a netbook)

Tuesday

Today was the big placement test. It was broken up into three different parts- listening, reading, and the "interview." The listening wasn't too difficult, the reading was, in the first half, a joke and in the second a terror, and the interview was... well, I just can't say I really know what to say when people ask me to tell them about what I think about Japanese as compared to American culture and what I think about the state of the world in my mother tongue, let alone my second language. It really caught me off guard. Overall, I felt really disheartened by the exam.

Tonight, Endo-san came over as well and is now making us seperate our own garbage. I mean, it's not that big of a deal, but we're worried about how many of the duties she is supposed to do by contract that she is going to fork over to us. I'm not her biggest fan because, regardless of me trying to communicate with her, she mocks my Japanese (like repeats me verbatim in a mocking tone). It's a little disheartening. She asked SeungYe and I about what our parents did and is offering to make us Yakisoba. It makes us all nervous though, because we don't know if she'll charge us or not. We'd all rather not get in that situation.

Wednesday

Break! What a fun break it was too! I'm looking forward to having Wednesdays off this semester. Although, it's a bummer Mindy won't. In the morning, Hannah and I went to get our Aleing Registration cards in Gyotoku. It was a pretty simple walk, but my map dyslexia kicked in and, well, I kinda didn't have us turn when we were supposed to again. A minor setback, but I still really need to learn how to read a map. When we got to the office, Hannah realized she forgot her passport. Also, SeungYe had some problems with the office telling her that the IES provided pictures were too small... but they told Hannah that they were the right size. Nevertheless, they took my US passport-sized pictures. On the way back, the two of us saw Mountain Dew in a vending machine and, getting terribly excited, bought some.

When we came back, SeungYe joined us and we left to go the the largest mall in Chiba (only a stop away!) Too bad we got on the wrong train... We ended up getting stared at even more there! It must be it was even more odd to have foreigners at that stop than it was at Ichikawa. When we got to Minimi-Funabashi, we apologized profusely to Mindy (who had been waiting) and went into LaLa Port (yes. LaLa Port. Yeaaah) There were so many shops o-o; It was amazing. The most amazing, surprisingly, was the Disney Store.

Unlike in America, the Disney store here had a lot of useful goods for adults. Aprons, hats, chopsticks, cell phone charms, bags, etc... and it was a million times more adorable than normal Disney stuff. Don't ask me how, but they managed it. Yeah. So, I bought Halloween Disney cell phone charms... they are adorable pumpins that look like Mickey... ^^;

On our way out, we stopped at a Crepe shop and dined out outside across from Ketucky Fried Chicken. They have a "Kenta-kun" outside almost all of the "Kenchiki"s here- and by that I mean, a statue of the Coronel. Yep. So we posed with him. Yeahhh. I love being dorks.

Tomorrow, we have an entrance ceremony. I wonder if it will be interesting... Hannah and I were talking tonight about how they always seem so boring in anime! Hope it's not that way!